soldiers

assalamualaikum!!

dah lame tak update blog,tetibe nak hapdate pulak kan,,
maaflah,masih berada dalam zon kecewa sampai tak cukup kudrat nak update,,
ahceceh,,bukan ade orang tunggu pun kan,,,hahahaha..lol

so,pagi tadi lepas sahur tido balik,lepas tuh subuh,then tumbang balik,terlebih tido agaknye,macam drama dah mimpi aku,,hahaha,
tapi ade hikmahnye mimpi pagi tadi tuh
malaslah nak cerita mimpi ape,tunggu nanti keluar novel,,

tadi dah tercakap kat twitter sebenarnya,,tapi rase mcm tak patot plak cakap kat situh
so i'm here

i went through tough time for a few months last year..pretending to be more likely side of me that i don't want

nih copy paste dari tweet tadi,and if u know how i finish my semester last year,you will know how sucks was it,
masalah datang bertimpa-timpa,tapi aku kan wanita besi so put your smile on your face and let the problems away,
agaknya kalau tanda hari mane jer yang aq tak menangis setiap malam,adelah sehari dua kot,,
hahahaha
i was a boarding school student so i never thought that i'm going to went through those tough moments,,
entahlah
selama kat sekolah,aku jadi diri aku,nisa' kan,,kenal jer lah aq macam mane
bila sampai tempat tuh,aku kena jadi lain,
aku kena ikut orang yang perasan dye bagus walaupun dye taklah bagus mane
aku kena jadi the other sides of me yang aku taknak pun jadi
kalau tak ikut,aku jelah yang nampak bermasalah,
hahahaha
,,dulu semua nak jadi ketua
,,dulu semua nak pengaruh bagus
tapi aku taknak,
aku nak jadi diri aku
u guys just dont understand
i have many bad sides of me much than good sides,
naseb aku tunjuk sikit2 jer,
kalau semua,,taulah kaw
kau akan rase tiap2 malam tuh perit,
tapi takpe,aku yang tahan,,aku yang rase,aku yang sembunyikan

sejujurnya,aku tak pernah rase bahagia dekat sana,
tambahan dengan adanya mereka semua,
life's there is sucks
i don't want to go back to that moments again
but until now
i still having some sort of feelings that
they also don't like me either
so assume it as fair and square maybe
gaahh
if you hate me
said so
i just don't mind

but ALLAH knows what i deserve,
i deserve happiness
HE lead me there,
a strangers become a friends and become bestfriends
not only one but 5 of them

they gives me strength again
they put my real smiles again
they made me being the real me again
they going through thick or thin
we can playing around without no doubt
and we can talk about life all whole night
they show me the path that i want to take
they let me talk everything that i feel
they makes fun of me
but they wipe my tears
they share my story
we makes fun of others
and we just cool liddat
and the most lovely part that i always feel
we solat jemaah
and when we all said
"ukhwah fillah"
thanks for being there for me
even i don't thanks to u guys face to face
but all i want is this relationship is abadan abada
insyaALLAH

bukanlah zaman sebelum tuh tak pernah ada kenangan manis langsung
tapi keindahan tuh tak pernah sehebat yang aku rase sekarang!

alhamdulillah for this friendship ALLAH,,,
ya rahman ya rahim